All Map Makers Must Die (Open)

[SarahSyna]

(Note: This takes place before Party Hardy)

Gabrielle stamped through the forest, her bag slung over one shoulder, a battered looking map in her right hand and a branch in her left. Now and again she'd whack away any particularly touchy-feely plants with the branch, occasionally jumping on the stupid leafy bastarding things for good measure.

Once she reached a clearing, she slumped against a tree, dropped the stick and held the map in both hands, stretching it out so she could read it. She glared at the muddy bit of paper as if it had personally cockslapped her, her dead mother and her sister five minutes ago.

"Fuck these people, and their fucking Comic Sans, and did they draw these things in Paint? In Windows ME?" she snarled. "I've made better drawings in my godamn sleep. I've done better piss drunk with a concussion! I swear to god, I am going to find whoever makes these maps and eat them! Who designs a map without any godamn landmarks!"

Whatever state Gabrielle had been in at the start of the little hike, by now she was just straight up ranting, voicing her frustration out loud with no stopover between mouth and brain in her thoughts, or volume for that matter.

Pity the poor woodland animals who could hear her. Someone has to.

[Gleam]

Cael sat up from beneath his favorite tree (which tree that was, exactly, changed on occasion, on account of him being unable to find it again) and blinked woozily at the screaming. It was emerging from a girl. Pity. He'd hoped he'd taught the forest parrot new and more entertaining words.

"Oy!" he called. "If the map's that awful, Google Earth the bless'd thing. We're in the satellite age, lady, go get a satellite map! It's not hard."

He frowned momentarily. "And what kind of landmark is out here anyway that's worth a trip?"

[Koishi]

Klemence heard screaming, it sounded frustrated and well....frustrated. She had no other way to put it she had formed her self in to a massive bright blue bear with a black nose and brown eyes. Why, she had yet to figure that out, but hey, a blue bear is fun at times right?....she let out a snease and the leat that was laying lazily at the top of her head fell of and toppled to the ground.

Talbot looked up at the bear and stood on it's hind legs brushing the twigs and deebree off much like a human would. Klemence licked him and it let out a loud clicking sound. She heard another voice, some ways away and decided to drop on in. Whats a banter with out a blue bear. She made her way over to the girl and then sat down directly behind her. She was tall and well shaped, Klemence snorted at her.

[SarahSyna]

Gabrielle jumped when Cael started speaking. She hadn't known anyone else was there. If she had, she might have been quieter. She looked around the clearing to see him not too far away, under a tree

"W-well, what good is a satellite map of a godamn f-f-forest? It's just going to show the canopy for most of it, and that's just as u-useless."

She looked down at the map in her hand, its' badly set, cartoony font mocking her.

"Well, maybe not as useless." she muttered to herself, then turned her head as she heard something large behind the tree she was against.

Her jaw went slack when she saw a bright blue, kind of dopey but happy looking bear plonked down on the forest floor. With a little blue fishy thing next to it. ...The fuck?

She looked over to Cael and and mouthed 'don't move' to him and put one finger over her lips, then began to slowly reach down for the branch at her feet. If that bear moved, it was getting either a stick in the eye, or a telekinetic whack into a tree.

[Gleam]

Cael looked at the bear. A brief spasm of amusement passed over his face, before he made himself comfortable where he was sitting.

"You are the largest Teletubby I have ever seen." he informed it. "Are you perhaps a cousin of Tinky Winky? You know he doesn't like it when you escape your pin."

Turning back to Gabrielle, he answered, "It'd show meadows. Rock formations. Landmarks, you know. Those useful things you can't see from ground level, because of trees."

Cael had nothing to say about the fish thing, at least until he could get a better guess at what it was than primordial reject.

[Koishi]

Klemence looked at Cael and gave a grin "Eef ya must know, ima one of dem deer Care Bears" she laughed, her voice sounded grubbily and deep, but that was what a bear would sound like if it wasn't bright blue and able to talk. "See puush mai beely and i change foarms" she laughed.

Her fuzzy stomach sqwished as she laughed and she looked at the girl stareing at her with the up most confusion and fear and waved a massive clawed paw at her. "Heelooo" she said giving a grin once more. Klemence sniffed the air "What are you tryn' to find lady?" she asked tilting her head to the side and picking up the small scaled creature next to her and putting him on her head. (the bears head)

[SarahSyna]

Gabrielle glared at Cael when he talking talking shit ton the bear. The bear may have looked like a Lucky Charm marsmallow, but godamn, it was still a bear and if it went nuts and savaged her, there'd be no one between him and it. Her fingers closed on the stick.

Then her mouth fell open and she let go of the stick when the bear started talking. In a Cajun accent. The bear was Gambit. Technicolour Gambit Bear.

"I-I.... W-what?" she sputtered, barely able to form a full word, let alone a full sentence. She could feel her brain "T-the... what?"

She put her hand to her head. She must be going crazy sooner than she thought she would. She stared at the ground, then straightened up and waved feebly.

"I-I.... Uh... Hello."

[Gleam]

"You are missing a small, blonde-haired, spoiled child and two of your brethren." Cael commented with a smile. "And some porridge. And a bed, I suppose, but I hardly see why a bear would require one with all that insulating fat."

He glanced at the girl. "Miss you're hardly going to last long on this island if you don't take things in stride. There are multiple students with non-human forms, though, admittedly, none in the freshman year. Keep an open mind, yes?"

[Koishi]

Klemence scratched her belly, "Dat porrage iz good..." her nose twitched at the thought of the warm porridge and a comfy bed. "no..weel, i hava' human foaam buut iz a nakieed and i haf allreedy been sawed by two peoople. Dat iz not good. Not good by no meens"

She scratched her chin with long one black claw. "I lieek you bouy. yous gotz smarts" she said pointing to an over sized blue head. "Now now laaadah, donna freek out, i iz a friendly bear dat only leeks hunnah" she bared out her teeth in an attempted smile.

[SarahSyna]

Gabrielle looked the bear up and down, obviously still going ‘whaaaaaat’ in her head, then scowled at Cael and his ‘helpful’ advice.

“Hey, s-smarmy tree guy, don’t tell me to take s-shit in stride.” she snapped, “Not after the day I’ve had in this bloody forest. That’s a blue fucking bear, my friend. There’s a lot of shit I don’t take into account on account of it being nuts.”

She paused and looked over to Koishi. “Uh... no offence meant, blue bear... p-person. Y-you can have my c-coat, if you want to turn into, uh, people form. Please, you’re kind of freaking me out here.”

Damn. She never thought she’d be asking someone to get naked to make thing less awkward.

She tried to return the horribly butcher grin Koishi was giving but since her own teeth were long and pointed, that went about as well as it would for, well, a bear.

[Gleam]

Cael shrugged and opened a small container at his side that resembled an icebox, extracting a thick, wooly blanket that he tossed over to the bear. "Wrap up if you do." he advised. "It's getting sort of chilly out. Or, hey, you can wear it like a cape and be Superbear. All you'd need to find is the red S."

He turned to Gabrielle. "Diplomacy!" he proclaimed, extending a finger skyward. " . . . not a strong point of yours, it seems. Take a breath and don't be so anxious. Stare at a cloud for awhile."

[Koishi]

Koishi stared at the girl who was still freaking out. She felt bad for her and gave a shrug, yes a human form will calm her down. Apparently a bear was not the best choice to turn in to...oh well, it happened. She scared the ba-jesus out of a girl and got some of the best lines she's heard thus far.

She took the wool rug from the boy and eaisly wraped it around her shouldures. She actually serusly contemplated being super bear. She was already blue..whats a little painted red too?

It took her a moment of thinking on it before she looked up at Gabrielle and decided becoming human was better than being a blue talking bear with a a small alligator creature on her head. After she pulled the blanket as much as she could and then her blue furry body began to shrink.

The bones and thick fur pulled in more till she had much more human figure. She looked at them with aqua blue eyes and the same colored hair. She gave a grin and looked at them both "Diz bettah?"

[SarahSyna]

Gabrielle stared at Cael, utterly gobsmacked. Was the boy high? Take a breath? Stare at a cloud? What the fuck kind of hippie bullshit was he talking?

“Not a strong point of yours either, f you don’t know when to shut the fuck up and stop pissing me off!” she snapped in response his laidback words. ” Stop telling me to chill and maybe I’ll be able to!”

She turned away from him, scowling, to the bear, then immediately yelped and covered her eyes just in case she saw any part of Koishi while s/he changed back. She waited a minute or so then peeked through her fingers.

“Y-you finished?” she asked, then dropped her hands once she saw a human in a woolly blanket before her instead of a derpbear. She stuffed her hands into her, coughed and tried to put on a straight face as if she hadn’t had a minor shitfit.

“Um, yeah.” she said, “M-much better.”

Awkward.

[Gleam]

Cael cracks an eye at Gabrielle. He smiles. Lowers his finger.

"You'll grow into it." he assured the crazygirl, and then turns to his newest acquaintance, inspecting her visually. Then he grinned again, much wider, and stood up. "You appear much less likely to eat people now." Cael declared, and bowed to the blue-headed girl. "Miss - presuming your natural gender is feminine, I really would not know - I happen to have the victuals on hand for a picnic. Care to join me?"

[Koishi]

Klemence gave a grin as Gabrielle snapped at the blond boy. Did everything spazz her out this much? Klemence oddly thought it was wonderful. She also thought it was funny how the girl covered her own eyes. Klemence was just a naked body, people were weird. Animals could go running around with out clothes and people don't care but if its a person.... Well then, alert the authorities.

She turned her head to the boy who was offering free food. " Oh, oui Monsieur, i would loove to join joo. Cuz eef i was steel a bear den i woulda have to steal eet all for mai self." She nodded as she made her way over to the picnic. "Cuz im Smatah dan de avrage bear!" she said quoting Yogi the bear.

She laughed at her own joke and then turned to look at Gabrelle, "How long you been lost, Mon Ami? why don you eat foods too?" She looked at Cael, "She can eats too oui?"

[SarahSyna]

At least as weird as it was to say, the derpbear was nice. Fucking weird as that sentence was. Well, derp-person now. Derpividual? Gabrielle wasn’t really sure.

“D-don’t worry, der-uh...w-whatever your name is.” she said through gritted teeth. “I’m not hungry.”

She was going to nut this guy. She was going to fucking nut him and she’d get kicked off the island or something equally stupid but it would be worth it because “This guy’s a p-prick of the highest order. He’s the k-king of pricks, the prick so fucking p-p-prickish that other pricks look at him and go h-holy shit, you’re s-such a prick. You asshole.”

She paused, then swore. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that last bit out loud.

[Gleam]

"I am thus absurdly pleased at your new, and/or resumed, personhood." Cael agreed with a smle. "And sure! Bring a friend. I pack enough for four people regularly just to feed the wildlife, should it choose to drop in."

He listened to Gabrielle's rant, and nodded afterwards, smiling absently.

"I think you made a freudian slip there." Cael notes, and spreads out the picnic sheet.

[Koishi]

Klemence tilted her head. How could somebody be a prick and an ass hole at the same time. Maybe because it was more fun that way...at any rate Klemence sighed. She sat down on the sheet and then quicly flipped the whool blanket around her so it was tucked in it's self like a towel or a dress. This way she could use her hands with out, GASP flashing peolple

"oui, But eet was fun being a talkin' bear" She said with a grin as the scaily thing crawled up in to her lap and begged for food. "I came, a saw i conqured, and freaked out afew peoplez" she laughed.

Now, weather or not He actually constantly brought four peoples worth of food around where ever he went was questionable to her. She scrathced her nose and waited for the food. Also she found it questionable that he actually fed the wild life...This boy was fun to try and figure out.

But she would keep her wonderings to her self and smiled. Eventually she layed down on her back and watched Gabrielle yell at him. She wasn't good with people, that was obvious. "Ima Klemence, I tink we might be neibors" she said in a matter of fact way.

[SarahSyna]

Gabrielle looked at Cael, genuinely revolted. Was he actually implying that she...? He wasn’t an ugly guy, but even just the thought made her feel like gagging. Not that it was to do with him exactly, though the personality probably didn’t help.

She drew herself together, pulled her coat shut around her, zipped it and turned away from him, towards Klemence instead. She wasn’t a cold heartless bitch, really. She wasn’t going to ruin her happy picnic. She was going to be nice and polite and not storm off except in a way that wouldn’t make this poor friendly fuck cry.

“Yes. Maybe.” She said, as evenly as she could manage to, her sentences quite short and clipped. “Dorm 7, right? It was my old place.”

[Gleam]

"Vini, Vidi, Vici." Cael agreed with an indulgent smile. "I don't know how to render 'freaked out' in Latin, sadly, so I can't Caesarize that. Still: your words are older than you know."

He sets out the pie - blueberry - and cuts it into six pieces, and hands the rest of the meal to the aqua-haired girl to unpackage. It consists of a great deal of fruit, some wrapped chicken and rice, and a quartet of bottles filled with a darker-colored fluid.

"The drink is chai tea, you'll have to tolerate my tastes should you wish to wet your whistle." Cael commented. "How are you finding the Academy, mi amiga? I'm told it's quite an experience for a newcomer."

[Koishi]

Klemence looked at Gabbrelle, "Oui, i heard eet was flooded before i came hear." she shrugged. "Im sorry you didnna geet et back..." She scratched the back of her head slightly embarrassed that she stole another person's room. "I did geet a roomate, but i wonder why et wazn't you..."

Her stomach grumbled when Cael taunted her with the pie and food. "Naw iz ok, ima used to eating swamp rats and gatahs" she smiled at the boy. "Weel wif latin i do know dat Noli vesanire means 'do not rant or go insane', but dier iz no translation for freak out saddly." She shrugged and then started going through the food eating it with her fingers.

Klemence looked at him, people were noisy here....But then again if she ran out of things to say then she might talk about things involving to life too. "Hmm weel...i guess iz ok, not too weird. I radah like et" she said why he if he was using Spanish as a way of showing how smart he actually was.

[SarahSyna]

Gabrielle shifted awkwardly. “It’s no big deal, uh...” she scratched her head then suddenly demanded, “What the fuck is your name?! Because I’ll call you beargirl until you tell me. And I didn’t want it back. I like my new one better.”

She stuck her hands in her pockets. “If you’re looking for freak out, it might be pavor, maybe.” she said, still looking at Koishi. “Means panic, I think. I’m not fluent though.

There. That was nice and helpful. Showed she wasn’t all bad or always shouting. Arty would be proud of her persevering in the face of adversity or whatever she was saying these days and attempting to make nice with Koishi. Now just to get the fuck out here without leaving a bad impression.